


Do Not Go Gentle

by fallingslowly



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Mentions of verbal abuse, mentions of domestic abuse, sansa is a stark and she is going to make sure you know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 16:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11740926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingslowly/pseuds/fallingslowly
Summary: Sansa Stark was born quiet, they said, nothing like the other Starks. Some said she was only a Stark in name, and she was closer to her mother's Tullys that her father's Starks. Sansa Stark was born quiet, they said, and the world hated her for it.Title from 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' by Dylan Thomas





	Do Not Go Gentle

Catelyn Stark always said that Sansa was a quiet child. She was a calm baby, she never cried, she never made a fuss. She hadn’t raged against the world they had thrown her into. No, she was Catelyn Stark’s quiet child, her happy child. Sansa Stark didn’t yell or scream or play rough like her siblings did, she was different from the other Stark. Some people said she wasn’t like a Stark at all, she was a Tully, through and through, they said. She didn’t even look like a Stark. She was a Tully.

And so she was quiet. She remained quiet, and did all that was asked of her. She didn’t try to act like a Stark, she didn’t attempt to be like her other siblings at all. She was refined. She was polished. She was exactly what they all expected her to be. And nobody noticed that she wasn’t happy. She was quiet. That was what they asked of her. She was quiet as she graduated college a semester early, she simply took her diploma and left, and her mother had to talk her into coming back for commencement. She quietly took her LSAT’s, and applied to law school, and she barely announced her acceptance to Kings’ Landing Law School and calmly moved herself into her new apartment. 

She didn’t say a word the first time that Joffrey hit her(or the second, or the third) for her parents wanted her to date him. When Robert Baratheon, and old friend of her father’s, found Sansa covering up a black eye with concealer, he promised her he would fix it. He tried, really, but there wasn’t a lot that he could do. He had claimed to his wife that Sandor Clegane was there for Joffrey’s protection, but only him, Sandor, and Sansa knew that he was really there for hers. He finds a way to hit her three more times before she finally builds up the courage to leave, but he finds out and beats her until her face is bleeding and her ribs are broken and then she runs. Robert Baratheon begs her not to tell her father, he begs her to let him try and fix this, to send Joffrey to a military school, to make him a better man, and she agrees. 

She wants to stay quiet, after all

* * *

 

 

Harry Hardyng calls her beautiful, and he’s a bit older, and she thinks that he could be better for her. He is good when he meets her parents, and she feels like he could be it. She is more guarded, after Joffrey, but somehow he trickles in and and consumes her. He never hits her, but he tells her what to wear and he doesn’t remember which of her brothers are which and calls Arya ‘your sister’ because he didn’t care enough to learn her name. He calls her awful names and sleeps with other girls and she’s pretends not to notice and not to care and she is quiet. 

 

They want her to be quiet, after all.

 

* * *

 

She leaves Harry when he grabs her wrist the way that Joffrey used to and she doesn’t tell a soul why she is leaving. She sleeps in Margaery’s guest bedroom until she finds her own apartment, and moves in all by herself. She is quiet. She doesn’t go home as much as Robb does, or as much a Arya does, but she calls twice a week, and drives home for every holiday. Her uncle Brandon decides to leave the company as she is about to graduate from law school and he tells Sansa that he will leave her his shares. She is prepared to sit on the board of Stark Sporting with her father and older brother, he tells her. 

She drinks too much gin on a tuesday night and Professor Baelish is near her and she can’t pretend that he hasn’t be staring at her the entire last semester and she regrets it but she lets him kiss her and she lets him do what he wants. He tells her that she looks just like her mother and he makes her skin crawl but there isn’t anything that she does about it because she is quiet, but she doesn’t want to be quiet anymore. He tries to get her to go out with him again or talk to him but she doesn’t, she refuses. 

She goes on one date with a man named Ramsay and they he starts following her and suddenly she has a restraining order against him and she begs the world to be kind to her but it doesn’t. She realizes that she is living alone and she is the only Stark doing that and she is scared. She is terrified. She wants to call her brother and beg him to come get her and make sure that no more awful men hurt her cut she doesn’t. She doesn’t, but she wishes she does and instead she changes the locks and buys a clear shower curtain and thicker curtains for her windows. Being quiet has hurt her. 

 

She doesn’t want to be quiet anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

She graduates law school. Her Uncle Brandon drives down with her family and Margaery comes to see her and she swears that she sees Sandor Clegane but she isn’t sure and she is happy. Margaery hugs her and tells her they’ll drink too much gin tonight and Uncle Brandon tells her that he is proud of her and her father says that too and she almost cries but she doesn’t. She hugs Robb and is his best friend Jon is there and she hugs him too and she is not quiet when she graduates law school. She celebrates, and ignores the offers from different firms that are sitting on the coffee table in her apartment and just enjoys herself. 

It is two days after she graduates law school that she realizes she didn’t really want to be a lawyer, but that they all expected her to be a lawyer. She doesn’t call her parents, and she doesn’t call her uncle, she doesn’t call anyone. She goes to a bar and drinks too much vodka instead of too much gin and somehow Jon Snow is there and suddenly she is sobbing and she is raging against the world that has hurt her. Jon tells her that if she doesn’t want to be a lawyer then she shouldn’t be a lawyer and that if she needs somewhere to go then the fourth bedroom in the apartment he shares with Robb and Theon has her name on it and he doesn’t even bother to ask the guys because it’s  _ Sansa.  _

 

She isn’t quiet. She rages against this world that has done nothing but hurt her.

 

* * *

 

She moves in with Robb and Jon and Theon and she isn’t quiet about how she needs help. Jon helps her move all of her stuff into the apartment and he helps her set it all up and she makes him brownies in return. Robb asks her why she doesn’t accept the offer from Lannister & Lannister but she says she doesn’t want it and he almost asks her why the offer from Tyrell & Redwyne sits on her desk but he never does. She never really tells him anything, after all, she has always been quiet. 

 

She stops being quiet. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jon, Robb, and Theon all have the night off work and they sit in the living room with Sansa and she has too much whiskey, this time, because they drink whiskey and she can’t drink gin without thinking of Petyr. Theon drinks too much whiskey and starts asking her questions and she doesn’t want to answer but she does because she has too much whiskey and dear gods she is  _ tired _ of being quiet. 

“Why did you break up with Joffrey?”   
“He broke two of my ribs and almost my jaw.”Jon and Robb look murderous and they both start to yell and talk over each other but Sansa says, “It’s fine. I’ve already handled it.”Of course she has. She is Catelyn Tully’s daughter. She barely needed her parents past the age of ten.

“Why did you break up with Harry?”Robb asks, and he doesn’t really want to know the answer, he thinks, but he has to know. 

“He was cheating on me the entire time. And he never bothered to learn the difference between you and Bran and Rickon.”  _ And he grabbed my wrist and wouldn’t let go and he wouldn’t let me wear miniskirts and he called me a whore and a bitch and a cunt.  _

“Why didn’t you ever tell us?”Jon asks her. 

“I was born quiet. Tully girls stay quiet.”

“You don’t have to be quiet.”Jon tells her. 

 

He means it. She’s never quiet again.

 

* * *

 

 

She sits with Robb for hours and begs him not to tell her father about Joffrey, not to destroy her father’s longest friendship over the actions of someone else. She tells him about how Robert found her and about Sandor and about how he promised. He promised that he would make it better and that Joffrey never came around her. She begs Robb to think with his head and realize that it is a bad idea to deal with all of this and that she has handled it. She is alright. She dealt with the problem like Catelyn Tully Stark had dealt with all of hers and that they are alright. She begs Robb not to be the big brother, for just a moment. She begs him to be Ned Stark’s son like she has been Catelyn Tully’s daughter. 

 

Robb doesn’t ask her about it again for a little while, and she fully rages against the world when he does.

 

* * *

 

 

She acts like she is done being quiet but she isn’t, not really. She doesn’t tell her father that his best friends son hurt her and she doesn’t tell him about Harry or Petyr or Ramsay until she has no choice. It is the annual Stark Christmas party, when everything shatters. When Jon drives her up to Winterfell and lets her listen to music that she likes and she really really likes just being with him. When they sit in a dining room and find out that Catelyn has invited Petyr and the entire Baratheon and Lannister family and Sansa is quiet again. 

 

She is Catelyn Tully’s daughter. Catelyn Tully’s daughter would stay quiet. (she is also Sansa STARK and a Stark would not be quiet)

 

* * *

 

 

Her hands shake, and Jon clutches one of them in his during the entire dinner, and while she is done being quiet. Jon stands behind her as she stands in her father’s study and yells at her parents, as she asks them why she had to be quiet when Arya got to be loud, why she had to pretend that none of this was bothering her. Why did she have to allow the world to hurt her when Arya didn’t have to. Why didn’t anybody believe that she was a Stark. Why did she have to be quiet when not another single person in her family had to be quiet. Why did the world only choose to hurt her. 

She tells to her father that his best friends son broke her ribs and nearly killed her and it got so bad that Uncle Robert got her a bodyguard and that she had to leave in the middle of the night. She tells her mother that her best friend from childhood preyed on Sansa’s weakness and made sure to be near her when she was trying to drown her pain in gin and called her Cat when he came. She tells her father that she has an active restraining order against the son of a man he regularly does business with and that she had to move in with Robb and Jon and Theon because she was terrified of being alone anywhere. 

She finds her Uncle Brandon and she asks him why she was given his shares and not Arya or Robb and he tells that that she is a Stark and it is about time that someone treated her as such. She finds a bottle of vodka because she cannot have gin and she is a STARK and she is a NORTHERN woman and Northern women drink vodka and she escapes into a part of her mind where she rages against the world that has attacked her and the people that have tried to destroy her. 

She survives the annual Christmas party and is grateful to be back in the apartment that she had found was home with the only three men that she knows won’t hurt her. Theon helps her set up a food blog because ‘you’re an amazing cook and baker, Sansa, and someone else should know that’ and she posts on that every other day. Robb and her Skype into board meeting weekly and they are proper Starks and they are quickly groomed to take over their family’s company and she is fine. 

She kisses Jon Snow after living in the apartment for six months and he kisses her back and for the first time in her life she is kissing a man that doesn’t do something to hurt her and she finds that she really likes kissing him. She kisses him again and again and he kisses her everywhere and they are in love with each other and she doesn’t have to be quiet about it. She doesn’t have to be quiet about anything anymore. She has figured it all out. 

 

Sansa Stark was born quiet, but she didn’t live that way. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is, but I hope you liked it! I sort of just wrote it in only go so it's v possible that it's a bit ooc but I like the whole vibe of it. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr- queensansatargaryen


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